Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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