Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
Randomize