Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
you mean i was at the winter classic?
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
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