I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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