I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
farters have to be the big spoon...
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
