put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
