Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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