every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
