Ambien. No doubt about it.
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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