College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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