You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
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