dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Of course I have a pirate flag
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
