My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize
