I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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