i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
