ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
You did what with his pubic hair?
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
