im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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