Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
God, you're like boner-b-gone
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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