he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
