In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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