He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Randomize
