you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
