You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
