Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
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