Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
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