yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Randomize
