The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Im part way to drunk.
Randomize
