The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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