it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
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