Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Terrible idea I love it
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Randomize
