I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
she told me i tasted like america
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
