i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
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