when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
