so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
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