i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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