he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
