He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Randomize
