How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
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