Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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