i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Randomize
