It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
