my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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