I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
