come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Randomize
