just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Randomize
