just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
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