yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
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