I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
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