Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
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