how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize