just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
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