Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
