I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
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