She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
