i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
