did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
