I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Randomize
