Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
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