I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
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