no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
This girl is more easily done than said...
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
