woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
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