U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
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