We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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