3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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