Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
