I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
