fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
