if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
it was like his penis was on wheels.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
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