Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
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