I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
